I've been thinking of setting up a blog for a while now, get myself out there, maybe make a few friends online, and I was really hoping that the day I set up my blog would be a good one, but today wasn't.
So why am I setting up my blog today? Really because I'm so angry I just needed to vent so maybe I could get some sleep.
It's the school holidays for me. Exams are over, the weather's reasonably good, supposedly a time to relax and have a little fun. Best of all, it's a few blissful weeks away from the idiots at school who made my life hell this past year for no good reason other than I decided to come out. That's right, it was my choice. Nobody forced me to do it. I decided I was sick of pretending to be something I wasn't so I told a few close friends, made sure they understood it was no secret and within a couple of days most of the kids at school knew about it.
I was a little afraid, but most of them were great. I didn't lose any friends and even made a couple more. Unfortunately, I also "offended" a couple of guys in my class. Not sure how, but they sure as hell objected to being in the presence of a gay guy and made it clear every chance they got.
They didn't do anything really - just called me a few names, pushed me about a little, but at school they mostly just gave me dirty looks. It was annoying, but no big deal.
Well, it seems that now school is over they don't feel they have to behave themselves anymore. I had planned to spend today doing some painting, maybe playing a few computer games, listening to some music, just generally relaxing, but Mum left my brother a shopping list and my brother "delegated" the task of going to the shops to me. And when I say "delegated", read dragged me to the front door and told me to got do the shopping.
I didn't really mind. It was a nice day. Not too hot, not too cold, not raining. It's a nice walk to the supermarket anyway. It's on the edge of town and we're in a village about a mile away, so to get there I can either walk along the side of the road, which can be a bit dangerous, or take a really pretty walk along a footpath through the woods. So I went through the woods. Hey, if you're going to be forced to go out by your idiot brother, may as well take the path that's quiet and attractive, right?
Wrong.
The three guys who gave me the most crap last year - Derek, Matt and Kevin - were messing around in the woods. God knows what the idiots were doing, but I saw them and figured they'd just ignore me.
Wrong again.
First they thought it would be funny to make me stand against a tree while they had a little competition to see who could throw a stone closest to me without hitting me. Of course, they didn't really try to miss. Then they decided they wanted to see if they'd left any bruises - and of course that meant stripping me down to my boxers. Then they decided that because I'm gay I'd enjoy being bent over and dry humped, and when that wasn't funny enough, down came the boxers.
F*** knows what they would have done next if some old guy hadn't come along with his dog, but he shouted and they ran off. Of course, even though the idiot had seen exactly what they were doing, I was the "dirty little pervert" and I was the one he was going to call the police about.
And if that wasn't bad enough, the a**holes ran off with my shirt, so I was left to walk home half naked. Not a cold day, but not warm enough for walking home bare chested.
To cap it all off, I get home and does my brother ask why I'm not wearing my shirt? Why I've got big red welts on my chest? Why I look so upset? No. He yells at me for coming back without the shopping, takes the money Mum left us and buggers off.
So I've spent half the afternoon crying because of what they did and what they might have done and the rest of the afternoon imagining myself shooting them with a nail gun. No, I won't actually do it. I don't believe in violence. It's just a nice thought.
And now I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes I see those idiots and feel like screaming. So I've set up this blog to vent. I've vented. Don't feel much better, but I guess you can't have everything.
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